In a blink of an eye. Its May already.
I so did not see this coming. Who knew i could actually go through 4 whole months of college already?
This shows how fast time actually passes.
I only have today to chill. Assignment datelines and Assestments all coming in this month.
All due this month if i were to rephrase it properly.
I feel like I’m failing the job i was given. Not guiding the people properly.
But regretting. feeling like a failure. Not only in studies, but me myself as a person, towards my family and friends.
What more can I say? So what if I’m turning 18 this month? Legal to club? Legal to go in the cinemas for PG18? So what. Im not excited.
But yet, reflecting to myself. How much time i have wasted in my life.
Not knowing what to expect next.
Life. Moving on everyday, hoping for a better tmr.
Yet, everyday has its problems on its own.
Sigh. God please help me go through this.
Smiling on the outside, yet hurting in the inside.
Needing someone to talk to so badly :(
You’re someone i look up to. Even though you might be really troublesome and whiny at times, but you’re definitely a person who never fails to bring laughter. Though you often forget who I am, but that doesn’t matter, because I know who you are. I remember just last week you were lying there talking to me. Asking me if i had a girlfriend, asking me to show you if i had one. It was just last week. You were there laughing and even insulting the fat lady opposite there asking why is she so fat when she really is pregnant. We all thought you were going to be fine. But you let all of us down, until your very last breath, you were suffering in the inside. We all knew that, I did. I love you a lot. I really do. I hope you’re doing well up there. You’ve been in this world long enough, and Im sure you’ve done everything you wanted already. With all of your children by your side when you leave. Knowing that they all love you. And Im sure you know who loves you the most. I’ll miss you deeply. I really really will do.
I’ve lost 4 relatives in just a years time. And I’m really missing you all a lot. As much as i hate all this to happen, its life. I get it its life. Just hope all of you are doing well up there. Know that, we’re all missing you deeply. I love you all alot.
18th March 2012, RIP Great-Grandmother.
(You’ve always will be the one i look up to)
I miss my Ah Kung a lot too. I regretted a lot of things when you left. Things that i haven gotten to do with you. I hope you’re doing well up there. Its been a year already. I miss you tones.
Life :/
I’ve barely been tumblr-ing lately.
That’s because i barely have the time of the day to do so.
I guess its because I just stepped into a different step in life.
And I am really trying to adapt to this part of life.
Its not easy, but i’m trying my best to do so.
Different part of life meaning different people, different work, different lifestyle.
Its not easy being a college student.
You literally can’t stop worrying about every single thing.
From the moment you wake up, we have to think of what to wear.
Then if it will be jam on the way to college, if there is parking. etc…
Which class to step in, what class and all. Assignments all done?
And the list goes on. I miss my life without caring about a single thing.
But i guess all those are over.
I mean, college isn’t that bad. But i miss high school. Definitely do.
I miss how i hang out with my buddies during recess.
Talk in class like we don’t care about anything.
Look forward for practices after school. Those were definitely the times.
I mean, everyone thinks college is the best part in life.
I can agree in some parts and won’t agree in some parts.
True, no more uniform, phones allowed, laptops allowed. Don’t do homework also nvm.
But all those are really just distractions.
What to wear, Phones & Laptop during class. Not doing homework?
That will just make us screw up in college.
Really, its just a step in life testing us to be independent.
Well, good part is.
No tuitions. Haha! that’s all. Well, new friends too!
Well, just had to post something before i go to bed.
Finally done with my presentation slide :D satisfied :D
Goodnight!
Its been a while since i actually seriously tumblr. Maybe cause I have been really busy lately not only with college but also because its the first week of CNY holidays. I’ve finally stopped and realized, how much life has changed this year. Even though its only been a month or so. But still, life definitely have changed.
College has been good so far, not tough at the moment, people there are friendly and nice. And some definitely became good pals and will play an important role in my life this year. But still, new friends are new friends. I’m definitely missing the old ones.
Those moments we use to have and spend together in pre school and also high school. I’ve met many of my primary school mates, and wow, everyone have changed. Drastic changes really. From looks, attitude and shape? haha. High school friends too, some flew overseas, some decided to left the old ones behind and start a new life and some of course, will always be there for you when you need them.
I’ve met up with a couple of my close friends this holidays and shared and definitely had great time talking with them, telling and updating each other about college life. Well, I’m definitely glad that for now, my close friends and I are still updating each other and frequently going out with one another. I really pray and hope this will continue and never end.
As for some, not all, but some, have decided to leave my life for good. Those that I use to help and use to be there for me when I need them. Give me a good hug and tell me everything will be ok and once tell me that I could always count on them when i need them. Yes, you have decided to leave my life. Well, you all were once there for me, but not anymore. You all broke your promises. That I will never forget.
Going back to high school frequently to help my juniors with some task, every time i enter high school, good and bad memories comes back. And how i just wish, i could turn back time and enter school again with my school uniform and meeting my friends and spending time with them every single day with no fail. Not like college, the long draggy journey and sometimes even get caught in traffic jams, finding for parkings, choosing what to wear in the morning. Gosh. That is not what i look forward to everyday :/
Oh well, that is pretty much what I am going through right now. I really feel like breaking out of my shell and start all over again. I am not regretting, but I just really miss those moments back then. Life.. If there is one advice i can give right now, it would be to enjoy every single moment you are spending right now. Not only those happy one, but also those bad one. Because you will never know what will happen the next minute or even the next second.
Time is precious. We should all appreciate it while we still can.
As much as I want some things to happen. Sometimes, we as humans just can’t control our lives. We might want to be with this person, but that person will never even talk to you. Or, you might want to do something you love so much, but something is just stopping you from doing so. Doing your best to always tell your best friend how much they mean to you, helping them when their in need, but sooner or later, both becomes strangers like before. So? Why is this happening again? I myself ask myself that question over and over again so many times. But there’s pretty much no answer to it, unless you’re willing to take the answer, “because life is unfair”. Oh well, Just got to keep a positive mind set.
When you thought your day went well, it never fails to change at the very end. You ask yourself what you have done, as you just try your very best to do whats best for everyone. But at the end, you just get blamed and give bad impression to those who once trusted you. You hear so many different stories from so many different people, yet you don’t know which to believe, because their all different. At the end of the day, you ask yourself who can you actually believe, who is really telling the truth. But you will never really get an answer. I want the best for everyone, yet its always easier said than done. I now understand what the quote means by ” We came to this world alone and at the end of the day, we will leave this world alone too”. Life :/ Sigh, what a night it has been.
I definitely learned mine. First and last.
Finally made up my mind :) Never felt so happy before. Feel like the choice i’ve made will definitely help me fulfill my dreams :) College starts in 1 months! Got to enjoy now :D
Went out with couple of friends today and had seriously had a good time :) Had awesome dinner too knowing i had 3 bowls of rice. Haha! And my penang trip was definitely awesome. Will post some pictures soon! Tmr, time to register for college and leave high school for good :) night!
Stuck at home for some personal reasons. Sigh. I want to go out but… oh well.
Should I take up the challenge and do it for another year? Or should I just stay true to myself and just let it go and concentrate on my college life? Hmmm. Knowing it will definitely fill up my time and definitely will be a tiring task. But I have after all, done it for 2 years. Will a new challenge in life change my life? Hmmm.
